Divine Secrets of the Baby Bonk- REVEALED!

I have been harassed by the sonogram paparazzi enough! FINE!! I'll give you what you want!

I am...

Vivian Mae- a fine young female fetus with all chromosomes present and accounted for.

Now please stop bothering me. I will make a public appearance via ultrasound at 20 weeks. All further questions and requests for appearances should be directed to my agent-mother. Photos will be released soon.

Oh, and would someone please tell Tom Cruise to quit calling? I am not becoming a Scientologist and I don't want to play with his freak kid either.

Sheesh.

The Bonk Report

Greetings, everyone!

'Tis I... The Bonk!

Mom & I went to see Dr. J (our fabulous OB) this morning. Mom has only gained two pounds, which made her really happy. And a happy Mom is good for me- those endorphins are like fetal crack, I tell ya.

At any rate, we got a good report. Dr. J tried to pick up my heartbeat with the little doppler thingie, but I was having none of it. HA! Take THAT medical establishment!

But Dr. J outsmarted me by sending Mom over for a quick ultrasound. I am 10 weeks and 3 days old, but crown-to-rump (which would be a REALLY great title for a rap album) I am measuring 11 weeks and 1 day. (No, I am not using any banned or controlled substances. Yes, I'll testify to Congress. But no, I won't reveal any other fetuses whom I know to be using.) My heartrate was perfect at 159 beats per minute.

We have a CVS on Tuesday. Sadly, this does not mean we'll be getting a drugstore where my Mom can obtain an endless supply of Starburst jelly beans. The CVS in this scenario is a chorionic villi sampling. It's a genetic test that will reveal (among other things) my biological sex. I hear there's a pretty fierce betting war on. Apparently my family members (Mom included) need hobbies.

Gotta go- supposed to grow ears today.

Much love,

Bonk

P.S.- Go ahead... look at me! I'm dead sexy and you know it!

The Betting Wars

Mommy's Email to Baby Bonk Family:
All righty folks... we are t-minus one week to the genetic screening, which means we are about a week and two days from knowing the chromosomal sex of this baby!Given that the members of this family are genetically predisposed to:
A) enjoying being right and
B) enjoying it even more when you can say "told ya so" to another family member
it is time to open the guessing pool for the great boy/girl debate.So hit "reply all" and tell us your guess. (Sarah, intersexed is not an available category in this voting...yes, it should be, but I'm trying to keep this simple! :))The correct party or parties get bragging rights and family notoriety as Nostradamus of genitalia.


The Responses:
From Auntie-Cousin-Rachel-
I'm betting girl. Don't know why, just am. However, I also would be happy to be wrong. You have enough estrogen that you can handle another male in the house, plus it would be funny as hell.

From Auntie Sarah-
I think you are going to have a girl. Who decides she wants to be called Max around age 7. Who identifies as a "boi" in college. Who transitions female to male at age 22. Who dates heterosexual women at age 23. Who realizes he wants to have polyamorous relationships with lesbians only at age 25.
Sorry.... I couldn't help myself.

From Great Auntie M-
I'm thinking girl - named Maud - who likes to read, sing Kermit thee Frog songs, and tell all her little cousins the facts of life.

More responses as they arrive... the score: Girl-3, Boy-0
Family members I did not have an email address for: use the comments section to make your prediction!